Alright, this is my thoughts that I am going to pen down when i have time. There will be a series, but i am not sure of how many. =) My wonderful IFs comes in that, i have always asking myself so much questions and preparing myself so i will let you know now. Here it goes the first series: 

                                         IF One day, I lose My Memory...

When i was a baby to the age of 4, i think i will ask my mummy what happened, I can't remember a thing, except that I can't talk til age of 4 1/2. =) Age of 5-6, I have the most wonderful kinegarden life with my brother. =P Age of 6-12, my primary school life are never very exciting, except for P5, i crushed on my relief teacher, ahhahha.

By the age of 13, i think thats when i actually have a goal in my life, NPCC.I was in my rebellious 1st year, but yet, i was lucky to be given a chance to prove myself worth in the 2nd year. At age of 15, I learnt independence, leadership, teamwork, through a transition of school. I earned my scholarships in school, awards, positions. Those 3 years in the new school, i told myself, no matter how life goes up and down, never look back, pick urself up from a fall, and move on, the world revolves daily, not to one self only. Those 5 years as a cadet, i learnt the fundamentals as so i can say. great friends were less, yet, independence became a great deal in my life. It scares me sometimes, but I enjoy working alone at times. Marking my end of Secondary Life, I was given the chance to move on to my next round of challenge, CI Ship.

For the next 5 years in my life, I made great friends along the way. I took up a sport, Taekwondo, and found myself in Student Council. In between, i got 5 boyfriends, lasting between 1 mth - 8 mths. Even if i am bad, i just can't stand possessiveness of a guy. Being too possessive, just make me feel that they have no confidence in themselves. I am not one great girl, i just want a simple and not complicated relationship, where 2 people can be happy and comfortable with each other.

The 1st year as a CI, it was a full year event, where i joined 1 event, 4 parades, 1 camp. Things are always rushing around, though a slow developer, i am a fast pacer at work, i pick things up fast, and i always complete things, be it slow or fast. I made that as a goal point, never stop in the middle, by hook or crook, finish what you starts. Through all the events, overlapping each other, i made lots of accquiantace. Eventually, i realised that there were strains in my life and i was good to have a grat senior that helped me and counsel me, Bi Bi, she made me realise that i was ignorant of people's advice, thinkings and feelings, and my naive thinkings got the better of me. I never realised things til a breakpoint, which was bad. I took her advice, decided to do my self-reflections.

The 2nd year, I stayed low, go through my self reflecting, thinking through my behaviours, concentrated on my sport and school. Talking about sports, there will be 3 person that i want to remember, my instructor, Weikang, without him i won't get to know 2 good friends, Evonne and Eric. I been through 2 competitions, 1 pattern and 1 sparring in IVP at NTU. I mde to black tip at the end. If not for my injury, i will continue in the sports til now. I got scholarship at the end of my 1st yr of ITE and made a great buddy, Christina. =)

3rd year was the most glamourous year, i have to thank alot of people in this year. I made to the Contingent Commander for the female Guards of Honour in NPCC day Parade 2006. I made to 1st ever female Flag Bearer in Singapore Youth Festival parade. Being trainer in other 2, Police Day Parade and National Day Parade. I accepted that my behaviour was obnoxious, thanks for giving me a chance yet again to prove my worth, never rejecting me, helping me slowly. =) This year, i grauduated ITE and got the CCA Medal award, went into Poly and started a new life. =)

4th year, I made to Police day parade 2007, the only female contingent comander of the parade, hahah nth proud of but is cute the event turns out to be. =) Trainer for the other parades, NPAP and NDP. Its fun. Things are slowing down, as our own team of people getting lesser and lesser, but more and more juniors. =) This year, I have transferred to Sea Unit to learn something new. Thanks to Mr Bala.

Til now, I am still serving, yes, getting promotion soon. which i hope not soon, i am content and happy with what i have now. I enjoy the time in parade, at the same time out in the sea. Doing website for npcc at the same time with Henry Sir. I am also into the 3rd year of Poly life, and i am only participating for 1 parade, as trainer due to me going overseas for attachments.

Well, to this point, i have to say, i have lived a great deal of life, dramas, emotions, ups and downs running high. =) I always have the phobia that I will wake up one day and remembering nothing at all. Til then, I want to remember and enjoy every moment in life. I have to say, if i lose it one day, i want to remember the following people: 

My family members, every single of them. Tongfang, Xiu Juan, Wanni from my 1st Secondary School. Christina from ITE. Zhiwei and Syikin from NPCC. Evonne and Eric from Taekwondo. My ITE classmates and Poly classmates. The rest, i will try to recall from the events that i attended.

The messages i want to let the above people know, if i ever can't recall any other things:

To my 3 best friends from First Toa Payoh Sec, you are the best friends i got in secondary school life, making such a mark that i won't forgot how to live through the new school. the 10 yrs friendship that we had, is the most wonderful years that i have been. Thank you so very much. Hugs and Kisses.

To Christina aka Jessica Rose. Girl you have been yet another most wonderful thing in my life. You are the one that took up every nonsense from me, being there when ups and downs, always so patient in listening to every stories that happened to me. From you I hope to be able to recall and remember the times we spent during new years, shoppings. Your very first camp experience as well as ur first kayaking experience. =) You made an important part in my life... hugs and misses.. =D 

To Zhiwei, u are the one who made an impact to my life even before i went for CI course. I am very proud to have you as my friend, be it u being a CI, a Commando, a buddy, I am honoured to have you as my friend. If not for you bringing me to parade, i will not be able to have made accomplishments in NPCC, never been able to meet another person like Syikin. Thanks for being there with me through ups and downs at times, never rejecting me when needed. From you, may i be able to remember the happy moments spent in NPCC, from the mark knowing you and the friendship we have. Hugs and misses.. =D

To Evonne, you are one best and adventurous girl i ever known. Through Taekwondo, we met but we ar never revolving around the topic of Taekwondo, we got through other topics. =) Thanks for introducing Surf and Sweat, I am content with the times we shared, be it for short moment at the gym, the Ikea visits, eating meatballs and chicken wings. Through you, may i remember your towel shopping, the time we visit Eric at workplace, bullying him at times, the misses and worries that i have for you while you are away in Australia. Many Hugs and Misses... =D

To Eric, you are one person I will not want to forget too.. YOu are the next guy buddy other than Zhiwei.Never really got to know you well at first, but through Evonne, i guess, we made a good friendship. Thanks for being there when my EQs gets the better of me. Patiently hearing my rantings, being my punching bags at times. Hahah, may i remember my pokes, my smile and u being the doctor from you when i ever forgets. Thanks and to you Many hugs and misses.. =P

To Syikin, yet another most important person in my life.From a Madame that I am so afraid to talk to, to work with, to the person that I never thought who would actually tell me how she felt, it touched me deep to be her sister, personal assistant.Sis, from you, I would want to remember, from the year 2004 where i first met you, you have been the no smile fully work madame, to the day in 2006, the point i made the effort to befriend you and ask your opinion.To the day that you told me your doubts and worries, we shared memories of parades, rush hours, wake up calls, ice creams, dinners, trainings, crys and laughters. Thanks so much for being there, making me see things more clearer, being one that enable to feel much better.Thanks for making the mark in my heart. Hugs, Kisses and Misses.. =D

To My dearest Sister in House, you will need to remember for me my whole life event in the house. my lappy's, my idol, my passwords at times. =P Thanks for being my sister even i bully you too much.. =) Take goofy care of the family in my recalling times.. =D 

Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeated again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!
-- Og Mandino


So thats my need of remembrance for now. Til then to the next IF.
Chaoz..